RN: If we get into a fight I'll bring out the bleach
IY: Why would you need bleach?
RN: So in case we lose, we can at least throw it on them and fuck up their shirts
This year, I resolve to be more grateful for everything and everyone I have in my life. Looking around, I feel blessed beyond words to have a wonderful, selfless and supportive family, friends I can’t live without, and an amazing boy who loves me, despite his capacity for intelligent thought.
A lot of times, especially in a work-hard-play-hard town like New York, we can grow to think that we deserve all the good things in our lives. We’ve made the sacrifices and we’re entitled to them. We put in 90 hour weeks at work so we deserve the big paycheck. We go out of our way to do favors for friends so we deserve to have them around. We’re not crack-whores and we didn’t get pregnant in high school AND we got a job right after college so we deserve to be loved by our families.
Sometimes, we reap what we sow but other times, we just get lucky. Not everyone who puts in work gets a reward at the end of the day and there are some who don’t even get to try. We don’t deserve our achievements, we’re blessed to have had the opportunity. Ambition and always wanting more is a beautiful thing, but for me, 2013 will be about recognizing and appreciating what I already have.
AW: Do you see how drunk I am?
AW: You're 10 times worse than this.
Anson: Ricky,whats that edm song that goes "bet bet bet bet bet bebetbetbetbet"
Ricky: ... I think I know it....can you do that again
Anson: "bet bet bet bet bet bebetbetbetbet"
Ricky: I think its "Dear New York"
Shirley: Wait then shouldn't it go "bet bet bet betbetbetbetbet bet"
Ricky: Yea I don't know
Right. Left. Probably two of the most important concepts I’ve ever learned. Right is always right, left is always left. The great thing is, everyone else knows it too so there are always plenty of people around to remind me on the rare occasions when I forget.
But there’s that other right. Right and wrong. That one isn’t as easy.
We all know right from wrong but as we go on and experience new things we can forget. We compromise. We make exceptions. But how much can we compromise before we abandon our beliefs, our morals, and all we were taught? How many times does it take for that involuntary twinge of guilt affirming that we know we’re doing the wrong thing, to completely go away?
Cheating on an exam is wrong, but sometimes you really need an A in this class and you’re only using that kid in the row in front’s paper to ‘check’ your answers anyway. Stealing is wrong but its just some spare underwear from a big box store they won’t even know its missing. Doing drugs is wrong but you’re not going to die and you don’t do it as much as other people do and all your friends do it and they’re fine. Your mom will never find out.
Eventually, you just get desensitized. Nothing is really that bad anymore because you’ve experienced it and none of the terrible consequences you thought would befall you actually came to fruition. Each compromise you make, you blur the line between right and wrong and sometimes there aren’t enough people around to tell you what the difference is.
We’re also taught tolerance. We’re taught that for the sake of all of our general well being, we ought to be tolerant of beliefs different from ours and to try our best not to hurt or offend others. But like many solutions, this is imperfect. Tolerance is a compromise. We curb our own beliefs for fear conflict with another’s. But what if it is our belief of what is right and wrong? Should we stand up for our own belief at the risk of stifling another person’s right to express what they believe is right or wrong? Its a conundrum. We know what we believe is right. We know that tolerance is right. Right + Right should = Right but it doesn’t always in this case.
Cheaters, thieves, liars, drunks, drug users, harlots. We’re all some combination of all of these to varying degrees. Some people might say these aren’t the things that define us; we transcend these titles, we do other things, good things. But what about the people who make a point to strive to not cheat, steal, lie, drink, do drugs and act promiscuously? Their effort in not doing these things in turn defines them. We see that by simply not doing ‘wrong’ things, as opposed to doing a lot of ‘right’ things, they are different from everyone else. Why then would people who do submit to certain vices refuse to be defined by them?
Right is an ideal. Its an ideal that we ought to strive towards every day, all the time. Its easy to gradually lose sight of our values and give in to what can seem like the norm but when we get the rare opportunity for a moment of clarity, its important not to let it slip away. Its important to hold on to it and think, reflect and improve ourselves. The way we conduct ourselves should be a reflection of the beliefs and morals we were raised with and when the day comes to observe ourselves objectively in the mirror, hopefully we’ll like what we see.
AW: What if for your birthday I give you an empty bag from Saks with the promise that I will fill it with a Chanel bag next year.
IY: Well, a Chanel bag today is worth more than a Chanel bag tomorrow so you would have to give me interest. And what if we break up? Its lose-lose for me.
AW: But its win win for me. If we break up I don't have to buy you a bag ever and if we don't break up I only have to buy you one present in two years.
IY: No. Where did you get this idea? Stop reading.